Thanks for sharing, Niki.

One day I hope there is a truly safe place where people can go who are experiencing inner voices, confusion, existential suffering, and challenging awakenings.

I went to the hospital during the most difficult of times when I thought of hurting myself and others. Instead of being honest I had to hold back from fear of being locked up and sent to the psych ward. I trusted the people in the hospital, but not the system to which they were controlled by.

Later I realized that my ego was making a final stand—it cared more about saving itself than the wellbeing of myself and others. This idea is beyond what most hospital workers can grasp. They would have labeled me as suicidal and a danger to others. So far from the truth...

By the grace of God and complete surrender (releasing myself to the stillness of the hospital room/bed) I was able to make it out. Clear-headed...confident that nothing was wrong with me. What's wrong is with the world around me. Yet even "wrong" is the wrong world. The world is mostly complacent; I am not.

Like Jesus said: you are in the world, but not of the world. It seems like I'm often surrounded by people who believe they are of the world. Ego stuff. It's difficult to find people who are fine with being in the world and not exactly understanding of where they are from.